This week, I joined two online communities, one – Facebook - under my own name and the other - 43 things - that I found in our weeks’ readings, under a pseudonym.
Facebook was immediately fun and intrinsically reinforcing for me. After I typed in my profile information, the face of my best friend from high school and the face of my best friend from college instantaneously popped up! As it turns out, we've all made unsuccessful attempts to reach each other over the years so access to this site has been really valuable to me. This is something that none of us have been able to accomplish off line. I've been having such a great time communicating with them over this week that, I'll admit it right now, I'm hooked!
In the Facebook community, I utilized information from our reading selections to create my profile, being conscious of what information I chose to disclose to ensure that it matched my comfort level. I also recalled information in our readings about some participants' quest to amass "friends" and considered my own feelings the first day or so when I had "no friends", then three, then five and now nine. For me, there is not a consumerism-type of mentality about numbers, however I did notice that over the week I have often thought of other people who I would like to reconnect with and have done several "friend searches" to find them. Not surprisingly, rather than finding my friends, I'm often able to connect with my friends' children. I was pleasantly surprised when they are willing to include me on their friend list. In our discussion, they express that I'm "cool" to have a Facebook account, unlike their own parents - isn't it amazing the simple things that make one "cool"? I was also surprised that my 21 year old son's roommate sent me a friend request, with the message, just in case I couldn't place him, "Kai's roommate." In speaking with my friends' children and my son's roommate, the relationship they have with my family and friends shapes my interactions with them. I'm careful about what I say and how I interact with them. It's almost like I'm speaking to them with the person who connects us in the same room.
One interaction I had on Facebook paralleled one of our reading selections. I saw a picture of my younger son’s girlfriend and sent her a friend request. When she replied, she let me know that my son broke up with her about three weeks ago, something that I had not known. Just as in our reading selection, there was some uncomfortable feelings around finding out information in this way.
On the Facebook site, I feel empowered and encouraged that people I knew years ago still remember me and that we remain concerned about each other, despite the time and distance that separates us. When I talk about what has been happening in my life, I value the comments by people who have known me a long time. I think this is a great site!
Interestingly, choosing the other online community was rather difficult for me. If you read my Blog entry in posting 2, you know that I find the idea of a joining a community as a fairly serious responsibility, an action which I consider carefully before joining. With this in mind, I agonized over the choice for a long time, then just said "*&@# it" and chose one. I ended up joining "43 things" for several reasons. First, a silly reason: because it was in our reading selections this week. Secondly, I'm in a period of my life where self improvement, making goals and accomplishing them is important to me. Third, another silly reason, it seemed as good as any other choice.
I couldn't get a screen shot of my 43 Things site to show up here, so here is the URL: http://www.43things.com/person/go_for_it
As you can see, on this site, each person identifies their dreams and goals (if you can’t think of any on your own, there is a bank of popular goals or some listed by category – how pitiful is that). After you list your goal, you can see how many other people have the same goal. You can click on a link and can read about people who have reached this goal and how they did it. You can also click on a link and read entries from people who did not meet their goal and learn why they gave up on it.
One part of this site that is supposed to be motivating is the “cheer” activity. You have 5 “cheers” daily and you can go on other people’s sites and “cheer” a goal on their list. When I saw the few cheers come up on my page, I tried to feel encouraged about it, but really, it didn’t make any difference to me at all.
This week, I’ve checked this site on a daily basis, however, admittedly, with no where near the enthusiasm I have for the Facebook site. On the 43 Things site, there is no one who I actually know, so there is very little draw for me. Even though we are connected through our common goals, I think I need an actual relationship with someone to want to share information with them.
The different nature of these two social computing environments that I chose shaped my interactions in very different ways. First, as I’ve alluded to above, on the Facebook site, I looked forward to logging on to Facebook each day and I was excited to see a new entry or a new friend. I did not fee that same kind of attachment to 43 Things. On Facebook, I enjoyed telling people about recent (or historical) events in my life, but I had no motivation to do this on 43 things. On Facebook, when the feeback came from someone I know, it was very meaningful for me. When I got a “cheer” on 43 Things, it had little, if any meaning.
After joining these two communities, I plan to continue participation on Facebook into the foreseeable future. I doubt if I’ll spend much time on 43 Things as it just did not connect up for me.
As a final thought, as I’ve talked about this assignment to my friends here on Maui, I have gotten some great suggestions about other online communities that they belong to that are cause or concept driven. I plan to check these out to see how they compare with the other two that I’ve joined. Regardless of whether or not I’ll stay connected to any of these sites, I’m certainly going to enjoy the exploration.
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Like you, I tried 43 Things. I liked it because it forced me to verbalize my goals out loud, and hopefully make more of an effort to accomplish those goals. As you mentioned, the cheers weren’t as effective as if you knew the person making them, although there is a certain satisfaction of having a perfect stranger give you unasked for support. I agree that facebook is much more engaging, interacting with those you already have a connection with. This would confirm Glaston’s theory of choice and community. People just want to be able to connect to others in a meaningful way. I look forward to reading about the other online communities you choose to explore.
ReplyDeleteI know I make a point of telling students to analyze readings and experiences critically, but sometimes it's good to see unabashed enthusiasm for online communities ;). Still, the distinction you make between Facebook and 43things suggests to me that it's the relationships that you formed independent of these sites that are the main source of excitement. To link your experience to the LaRose et al article, finding old friends is great, but what if you'd attempted to contact one of them and been ignored or denied by that person? Would that be more depressing than never having found them at all?
ReplyDeleteThe nature of text as a mode of communication is a particularly fascinating subject for me. I am a closet poet, and my undergrad was in English with an emphasis on writing, so I know the power of text, used well. I agree that there is the potential for text as a medium to force more thoughtful replies as people type out their thoughts and craft them for the situation.
ReplyDeleteBut then there are those who type as they think, and do NOT consider the consequences of the written word, just as many do not filter what they speak in person. Take Thordora for example, I can completely understand typing those words in a moment of frustration, but there were consequences that she was unprepared for. The same scenario does happen in RL when someone has a public outburst that could result in public condemnation and/or legal consequences. Also consider the recent communications I have had with my sisters. I am now 4000 miles away and do not have regular in person contact so I have no way to judge their moods. This week, in the public forum of my Facebook page, my 20 year old sister criticized my posts as lame and boring. No filter between brain and fingertips. I found out later from my baby sister (16), via text message, that they had both had a "bad day." I find the rapid communication methods of Twitter, IMing, text messaging, and even email, can have a deteriorating effect on the ability, or desire, to write well, thoughtfully and with consideration of consequences and the feelings of others.
From the readings and my observations with Facebook, it seems that existing networks and long-lost networks (especially with friends and family) are what usually motivates people to maintain their memberships in SNSs. I too found high school friends in Facebook. I was surprised by the large number of people that I recognized with Facebook profiles.
ReplyDeleteMy extended comment is under "Posting 2."
I just got my husband on Facebook, and on the first night of membership, he was making friends with people he didn't know just because they were friends of friends. I realized that this was that whole theory about people collecting people just for the sake of collection, not connection. It's a powerful tool, that as with many things in life, should be entered with caution. I'm not addicted to it like others, but because my phone has the Facebook application, I am constantly updated about what people are up to. However, it's funny how some people expect that I look at updates constantly and are surprised that when we get into face-to-face conversation that I don't have certain pieces of information that was posted on Facebook recently.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you're friends with your kids' friends. I don't know if they'd find it that "cool" because my seventeen-year-old just figured out that I can keep tabs of what he's doing because I'm his Facebook friend. Already, he's found a way to keep me out of some of his social circle. There are some things we don't want to know about each other. Even my friends have included him on their friend list, and now I'm afraid that he'll post information about our family that I wasn't necessarily ready to share.
Re: question posed by Dr. Gazan. You ask if it would be more depressing if someone ignored or denied you on Facebook. Well, this hasn’t happened to me but it did happen to a friend. Recently I visited my family on the mainland and there was a lot of discussion about Facebook, I have been on Facebook over a year. I have less then 80 friends and I have met them all personally. One of the discussions I had during my visit involved friending people or unfriending people. My close friend said that she had been ignored by only one person, but she didn’t really care. She said that she only friend requested him because Facebook suggested it. I don’t think she was depressed at all about it. I mean we are adults, it’s not a big deal, and they were never close friends, just classmates. Putting myself in this situation hypothetically, yea, I would probably be a little hurt, but I have enough self confidance and self esteem to figure there is some reason for it and it likely has nothing to due with me. Maybe they joined some weird cult, or maybe their personality has changed so much that I really wouldn’t want to be their friend. Or maybe they’ve abandoned their facebook profile or rarely check it, I had a friend approve my friend request a full two months later because he just rarely checks his profile, or the email associated with the profile. I have unfriended people, and I’ve felt a little bad about it. They seemed to be these people who like to collect friends for the sake of it, they had over 400 friends. I barely knew them from high school and wasn’t really interested in them. I did try to wait until a day when they got a new friend to unfriend them so maybe they wouldn’t notice the change in number, I don’t want to be mean about it and I probably shouldn’t have approved their request in the first place, I am now much pickier about friending people. One thing I do is send them a message first before friend requesting someone or approving a friend request.
ReplyDeleteI think you proved Albrechtslund's positive survelliance article right here with Facebook - it's a way for you to see what's going on with classmates you haven't seen in a long time that you want to connect with. But there's slightly negative/surprising interaction you had with your son's former girlfriend - there's that kind of survelliance, too.
ReplyDeleteMy mom has thought about joining facebook, since she knows my sisters and I are on it, but she has told me she doesn't want to because "what am I going to put as my status? 'I'm going to the grocery.' 'I'm cleaning the house.'" She doesn't want to be boring, I guess - but I might tell her that it's a way to get in touch with other people that she used to know.
To Linnea - it's always difficult to judge mood over text, and I think that's why we started using emoticons...but I think, still, that some people almost act like they're anonymous online even when they're talking to people they know, and "say" things that they don't mean.
It's like a total class reunion on Facebook. I'm receiving friend requests from people I have never talked to before. Their name sounds vaguely familiar, though.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, Denise, if you're looking for more suggestions for SNSs, I joined Kanu Hawaii today, which is an NPO in Hawaii. You can become a member, then make commitments. Reminds me of 43 things, but with a sustainability/volunteerism slant. I'm thinking you might feel more of an attachment to Kanu than 43.
Sounds like the online community is more of an extension of your real life. It's hard to get involved in something were there is little incentive or interaction. I've yet to set up a facebook account, although it's on the do to list. I may very well add it to my list of goals, maybe I'll get some cheers. I am inspired to try out 43things just to see if it helps me to stay motivated. I can see myself feeling motivated if I really connect with someone and branch off and do one on one check in's just like I would do with my friends. I'll have to report back.
ReplyDelete